Letter to Mother Nature

January 18, 2013

Dear Mother Nature;

You do not have children, Do you? I think not because you really dropped the ball!

How can you allow your little minions (also known as weather men/women) to continuously appear on television taunting these little creatures (also known as children) with grand illusions of inches upon inches of fluffy white stuff. Fluffy cold white stuff that is perfect for throwing at other people and not getting grounded for doing so. Fluffy cold white stuff that is slick enough for these little creatures to slide down mountain sides on a piece of plastic and have their out of shape parents drag their not so tiny little arses back up said mountain side. Fluffy cold white stuff that can be shaped into almost anything, no need to stick with building a frosty that wont talk to you like he does in the cartoon.

Your little minions made my little creature believe that when he was forced to go to bed at the normal bedtime that he would wake up to all the fluffy cold white stuff that he could ever possibly want to play in. Little creature was lead to believe that when he woke up everything in sight would be covered and he would be able to stay outside playing in this fluffy cold white stuff for hours upon hours and not coming in until the nasal drip that appears when one little creature gets so cold has permanently frozen to his face and must be chiseled off!

Seriously Mother Nature how could you allow the heavens to open up and drop nearly 3 inches of snow in our yard in just a few hours with more still coming when I went to bed, only to turn around and melt most of it and turn the rest into ice before the little creature had awoken this morning?  Do you not have a heart? Do you understand the situation this puts me in? Are you trying to punish me for something I may or may not have done? Work with me here lady... I beg you to work with me on this one!

From,
the little creatures mother

Santas little helper

Every year we donate a toy or two to any one of the various places that help families in need. I figure out what the budget is that year and I usually let Zack pick out what to give. This year he reminded me weeks ago that we need to go shopping so we could help Santa. Any parent who does the whole believing in Santa thing with their child knows how hard it can be to come up with an explanation of donating gifts for needy children. After all Santa and the elves make the toys and Santa delivers so why do we need to give toys for kids when Santa will deliver some on Christmas morning? Several years ago when he really started questioning why we do this, I did not want to ruin the belief in Santa so I came up with something that would work for my child. Santa and the elves work really hard to make all these toys but sometimes they do not have enough time to finish making them and some kids are left without any gifts, by us giving we are being Santa's helpers and making sure that Santa has enough toys for every boy and girl who is on the nice list.
He seems to get this and he wants to make sure all kids have toys for Christmas.

This year the toys were purchased and yesterday we finally made it to the store that was a collection site. So in walks this six year old boy arms struggling to hold not one but four toys to donate this year. He knows exactly where the donations are stored and he heads in that direction. He passes a few employees, they smile. He passes another employee who is obviously having a not so stellar day and she totally ignores him, he doesn't let it stop him. After all he is on a mission. We arrive at our destination and he is putting the toys in the fenced off area and another employee comes over and starts talking to him. He lets her know he is giving four toys this year so Santa can make sure more kids have toys.She stands there chatting with him for a few minutes. Before we walked away she told me how nice it was to see so many donations and to see children wanting to help other children. I couldn't agree with her more.

I can only hope my child remembers the pride he felt by giving to others and continues to give year after year.

Cocoa powder may smell good but mommy is evil.

I am sitting here laughing hard. First I must tell the beginning of the story that happened weeks ago.

Zack was bugging the crap out of me asking me nicely to make more chocolate syrup. He was out and that really is a no no in our house. He really wanted a glass of chocolate milk. So I eventually got off my butt and was making some more, yes I make my own chocolate syrup. It has a lot less sugar than Hershey and I know exactly what is in it. All the while I was getting the ingredients ready and mixing and cooking he was all up in the can of unsweetened cocoa powder, (you know that stuff smells heavenly)! He kept licking his lips. He begged to have some. I told him no multiple times, finally after hearing him ask for the millionth time I spooned some out and held it out to him (now don't be getting all irritated at me, it was only about an 1/8 of a teaspoon). He practically took a dive for the spoon. He opened his mouth wide, you know so every last bit of it went in and he did not spill any. Then BAM, the look on his face changed. The smile that was previously there had disappeared and the look of shock had replaced it. He was actually spitting it out while yelling at me. Now I will admit to laughing then and thinking it was funny all the while he was telling me it was gross.

BUT today out of no where he says "Mom you are so mean!" When I asked him why he was saying I was mean when I had not done anything mean to him. He replied with "You are so mean, I can not believe you gave me that cocoa, you knew it was gross and you let me eat it! How could you?" I gently reminded him that I said no each time he asked but his insistent little self would not give up until he had some. I started to chuckle thinking about it but he was not liking that one bit and told me I was the meanest mom and he can not believe I could do such a thing to him. The look on his face today while yelling at me over this episode was priceless. I guess I will never make mother of the year now.

So there are several valuable lessons he could have learned from this incident but I am not sure which he will retain in that little mind of his. Will he learn not all that appears heavenly really is? Or will it be that he will remember when Mommy says no there is a reason for it? Or maybe the lesson he will really learn is Mommy has an evil side and he should never mess with her?

The death of the television

Two nights ago the television that we have in the den decided to croak. We still have another to watch but this is the only one upstairs and the only one that the video games are connected to.Yes I am mean, I refuse to allow them to be connected to the one downstairs.

Well last night we were sitting at the dinner table and Kris told Zack the television broke and is no longer in working order. I looked at Zack and the look on his face was a look of absolute fear which morphed into anger, then turned straight to total panic (I seriously thought he was going to hyper ventilate at any second). He looked at his father and I swear at one point I saw rays of death shooting from Zacks eyes. How could this man just blurt out such horrid news? How could he say such a thing and expect this child to go on with life when something so important was just ripped from his chest?  I could just imagine what was going through that his mind. Think about it for a moment, the poor child is deprived (at least in his mind). He does not get to watch a ton of television (because most of the time the mighty mouth of his gets it taken away). He does not get to play video games everyday like his friends do (because I am a mean mom and only allow them to be played on days he does not have school). Now here he has someone telling him his video games days are over for a while, oh no something must be done about this real quick! But what? What could he say or do?

Of course in true Zack fashion he said the first thing he could think of  "well we need to get a new one." Notice the word need in there, yup for a kid who has been trying very hard to beat a level of a certain video game, it is not a want, it is a need. Kris told him "sure let me just pull one out of my pocket." Zack was not so amused with this statement, so he turned his attention to "just call the repair man and he will come fix it". I politely asked if he had the money to do that. He asked what it cost and when told it cost a lot, he said "what like a $1,000?" I responded with a simple Yup. He was not amused not by any means was he amused. My smart ass darling little child raised his voice yelling "What? Are you nuts? Why would it cost $1,000 to fix a TV when you can buy a brand new one for $200." Ah so he is listening when I speak (even if he has no clue at the cost based on the size of the television)!

Then out of no where he started laughing, a rather hearty laugh too. He looked at Kris and said "Dad, that was funny when you said you would just pull one out of your pocket." Now apparently he thought we were playing a prank on him and he certainly let us know that he planned on checking the television to see if we are lying. I am not sure if he actually did check it or not but this morning he declared Kiki the elf to be the culprit. Apparently Kiki stays up playing video games while we are sleeping and because he uses it too much that is why it broke.There we go, always placing the blame on someone else!

Kiki's fun.

We have been having some fun with our elf. Since Kikis kindness of making the pancakes the other day he's been getting a bit mischievous again this year. We woke up one morning to find a picture on my camera. It was a picture of not only Kiki  but a few of his friends playing a board game.

I am happy to add they cleaned up the board game and put it back where it belongs when they were done.

The next day Kiki was sitting on a shelf in Zacks room but it took Zack all day to notice him. Zack did look but for some reason he just kept overlooking  the shelf that Kiki was sitting on. Kiki must have been very very bored that day. When I turned on the CD that Zack falls asleep to every night, his eyes widened. It was not the music it was supposed to be, instead it was Patsy Clines song Crazy.(Yes, my child knows that song well. It is one of the songs I have sung to him nearly everyday of his life). I asked Zack if he was playing with my CD's and of course he said "It must have been Kiki.". Sure enough we found the evidence on my camera.

The next morning we were getting ready for school. At one point Zack stopped and in a grumbled voice and he said "KIKI" I asked him what was wrong and he responded with "Just look what he's done now." This is what we saw on the refrigerator.

 Well Zack could not be outdone by an elf so that night he retaliated with his own version. (he only had one Y so he became creative to make the Y in the word MY).

I think as the month of December comes in Kiki is going to have to step up his game because Zack is on to him.