Do it with feeling.

Even though Zack reads every day once in a while he will ask Kris or I to read to him before bed. So tonight he ran to get a Pokemon graphic novel and asked Kris to read it. He knows I do not get into comic books and do not like reading them so he figured he would sucker Kris into it.

Kris starts reading and gets several pages into the book. Zack interrupts him mid sentence and says "Dad could you read with feeling?" I could not help it, I started laughing. Kris tried to say that he was reading with feeling but Zack pretty much let him know he was not.

I just thought it was hilarious and would never have expected him to ask such a thing.

Reverse Psychology

I am in some very serious trouble with this kid of mine. By that I mean all my parenting skills are going to have to change because he is just to stinking smart!

Last weekend Zack was playing outside with some of the neighborhood kids, then when all but one went home Zack asked if they could come in and play video games. I agreed and let him know it was only for a while because it was getting late.

They were playing for a bit and then I heard C say he did not want to play video games anymore but wanted to watch TV. They argued a bit over it and then Zack gave in and they turned on the TV. C wanted to watch something that Zack deems "a girl show" and they argued over that. At that point I said it was time for C to go home.

Once we walked C home and came back, Zack was getting ready for his shower and we had a talk about compromising with friends and most especially compromising with guests we have in our home. I asked him if he understood compromising and he gave me an example so I knows he gets it. THEN he said something I never expected. Nope not in a million years did I ever expect my 6 year old to look me in the eye and say "But Mom I could have used reverse psychology on him." After staring at him in shock for what seemed like forever, I asked him if he knew what reverse psychology was. At first he said "no, not really" then he responded with "OK Mom, really I do know what it means BUT it is a little bit mean." I needed to get his version in order to know what I was up against so I asked him to explain it to me. Darn if he wasn't spot on!! He proceeded to tell me how you tell someone one thing when you want them to do something else. Aww Crud, I knew in that moment my parenting skills needed to change, this kid was on to me and I was done for!

He then gave me an example just to make sure I understood what he was saying. "Well Mom, it is like this... if I want to play video games and C doesn't want to, then I can say 'okay if your not brave enough to play this then we can do something else' and then he will want to play."

I know I wanted a smart kid but gee at 6 years old I would never have thought he would grasp the concept of things like this.

Letter to Mother Nature

January 18, 2013

Dear Mother Nature;

You do not have children, Do you? I think not because you really dropped the ball!

How can you allow your little minions (also known as weather men/women) to continuously appear on television taunting these little creatures (also known as children) with grand illusions of inches upon inches of fluffy white stuff. Fluffy cold white stuff that is perfect for throwing at other people and not getting grounded for doing so. Fluffy cold white stuff that is slick enough for these little creatures to slide down mountain sides on a piece of plastic and have their out of shape parents drag their not so tiny little arses back up said mountain side. Fluffy cold white stuff that can be shaped into almost anything, no need to stick with building a frosty that wont talk to you like he does in the cartoon.

Your little minions made my little creature believe that when he was forced to go to bed at the normal bedtime that he would wake up to all the fluffy cold white stuff that he could ever possibly want to play in. Little creature was lead to believe that when he woke up everything in sight would be covered and he would be able to stay outside playing in this fluffy cold white stuff for hours upon hours and not coming in until the nasal drip that appears when one little creature gets so cold has permanently frozen to his face and must be chiseled off!

Seriously Mother Nature how could you allow the heavens to open up and drop nearly 3 inches of snow in our yard in just a few hours with more still coming when I went to bed, only to turn around and melt most of it and turn the rest into ice before the little creature had awoken this morning?  Do you not have a heart? Do you understand the situation this puts me in? Are you trying to punish me for something I may or may not have done? Work with me here lady... I beg you to work with me on this one!

From,
the little creatures mother

Santas little helper

Every year we donate a toy or two to any one of the various places that help families in need. I figure out what the budget is that year and I usually let Zack pick out what to give. This year he reminded me weeks ago that we need to go shopping so we could help Santa. Any parent who does the whole believing in Santa thing with their child knows how hard it can be to come up with an explanation of donating gifts for needy children. After all Santa and the elves make the toys and Santa delivers so why do we need to give toys for kids when Santa will deliver some on Christmas morning? Several years ago when he really started questioning why we do this, I did not want to ruin the belief in Santa so I came up with something that would work for my child. Santa and the elves work really hard to make all these toys but sometimes they do not have enough time to finish making them and some kids are left without any gifts, by us giving we are being Santa's helpers and making sure that Santa has enough toys for every boy and girl who is on the nice list.
He seems to get this and he wants to make sure all kids have toys for Christmas.

This year the toys were purchased and yesterday we finally made it to the store that was a collection site. So in walks this six year old boy arms struggling to hold not one but four toys to donate this year. He knows exactly where the donations are stored and he heads in that direction. He passes a few employees, they smile. He passes another employee who is obviously having a not so stellar day and she totally ignores him, he doesn't let it stop him. After all he is on a mission. We arrive at our destination and he is putting the toys in the fenced off area and another employee comes over and starts talking to him. He lets her know he is giving four toys this year so Santa can make sure more kids have toys.She stands there chatting with him for a few minutes. Before we walked away she told me how nice it was to see so many donations and to see children wanting to help other children. I couldn't agree with her more.

I can only hope my child remembers the pride he felt by giving to others and continues to give year after year.

Cocoa powder may smell good but mommy is evil.

I am sitting here laughing hard. First I must tell the beginning of the story that happened weeks ago.

Zack was bugging the crap out of me asking me nicely to make more chocolate syrup. He was out and that really is a no no in our house. He really wanted a glass of chocolate milk. So I eventually got off my butt and was making some more, yes I make my own chocolate syrup. It has a lot less sugar than Hershey and I know exactly what is in it. All the while I was getting the ingredients ready and mixing and cooking he was all up in the can of unsweetened cocoa powder, (you know that stuff smells heavenly)! He kept licking his lips. He begged to have some. I told him no multiple times, finally after hearing him ask for the millionth time I spooned some out and held it out to him (now don't be getting all irritated at me, it was only about an 1/8 of a teaspoon). He practically took a dive for the spoon. He opened his mouth wide, you know so every last bit of it went in and he did not spill any. Then BAM, the look on his face changed. The smile that was previously there had disappeared and the look of shock had replaced it. He was actually spitting it out while yelling at me. Now I will admit to laughing then and thinking it was funny all the while he was telling me it was gross.

BUT today out of no where he says "Mom you are so mean!" When I asked him why he was saying I was mean when I had not done anything mean to him. He replied with "You are so mean, I can not believe you gave me that cocoa, you knew it was gross and you let me eat it! How could you?" I gently reminded him that I said no each time he asked but his insistent little self would not give up until he had some. I started to chuckle thinking about it but he was not liking that one bit and told me I was the meanest mom and he can not believe I could do such a thing to him. The look on his face today while yelling at me over this episode was priceless. I guess I will never make mother of the year now.

So there are several valuable lessons he could have learned from this incident but I am not sure which he will retain in that little mind of his. Will he learn not all that appears heavenly really is? Or will it be that he will remember when Mommy says no there is a reason for it? Or maybe the lesson he will really learn is Mommy has an evil side and he should never mess with her?