Worry wart.

A lot has happened since I last posted. So in the next few days I will be updating things that happened in the past month.

Zack went through a tough couple of days in early December. He is a rough and tumble little guy but he sure does have a sensitive side. As my surgery was getting closer he became much more clingy and would cry at the drop of a hat. A week before the surgery, before he even knew when it was going to be, he told me "Mommy I don't want you to die." Wow, I was not ready for that.

Three days before the surgery he was sitting on the couch watching television when I heard his voice say "Mom". It was a shaky voice and I got up to go see what was wrong just as he was running to me. There were tears in his eyes and by the time he reached me he was crying uncontrollably. It took me a while to get out of him what the problem was. He was worried about me dying and not coming home. I tried to reassure him as much as I could that everything was going to be just fine and I would be home before he even got home from school.

Apparently my reassuring did not help because the next night he burst out into tears again. All I could do was talk with him and hope he could understand. He begged me not to have the surgery, when I told him I had to or I could get real sick, he begged me to let him come with me so he could make sure the doctor did not hurt me.

My cousin sent him message which I printed out and put in his 'private' mailbox that he has in his room. He was happy to hear someone else went through the same experience he was going through. (Thanks Kristin it meant a lot to both him and I).

Going to Grandmas house the night before to visit took his mind off everything for a while. He was a little less clingy that night. Of course going to Grandmas house for a visit even if only for a couple hours means you get spoiled. You get to play on the computer, you get to eat some junk food when mom is not looking, you get to turn on cartoons and you get to wrestle with Grandpa.

I did let him stay home from school the day of the surgery. I worried that if he started worrying or something that no one would be able to pick him up from school and it would have made things worse.

I have got to say this kid was making me a bit uneasy about the whole surgery thing. I hated making my child hurt over something that could not be controlled.